you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
