Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
