but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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