And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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