R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
