Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize