Why is your signature on my underwear?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
