I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
