What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize