His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it's like iHOP with fire
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want nice things and good sex
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
