Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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