Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
