so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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