fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
