Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
