Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
