I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
