I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
