So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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