whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
