last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize