New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
