I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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