Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
