You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
