I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am naked and annoyed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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