every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just high enough for therapy.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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