Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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