Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
