dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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