big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
