I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
