Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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