This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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