I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
