Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
