Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
