Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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