Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
high people should be assigned attendants
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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