Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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