Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
