Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
