Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
