i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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