Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Quick, to the slutcave!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
