escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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