I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
