At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
