Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize