He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
