Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
