I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
