Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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