Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
