The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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