Got a toothbrush?
I bet he comes in French.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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