Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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