3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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