I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
