drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
