At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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