oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
