He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
