So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What happened to fro yo and sex?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
