Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
