Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
