So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize