OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
