butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
