ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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