you will always have a special place in my vag
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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