is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
