You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize