i may or may not be watching the land before time
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
