im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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