Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
